Staying Focused on the Positive
by Duncan Nalos
We all know that staying focused on the positive and having a positive attitude is a key to growth and change. When it comes to working on improving a relationship, staying focused on the positive and doing lots of affirming will help the relationship to grow. Intuitively we know this but we also know that maintaining that positive focus and outlook is challenging, especially when difficulties and conflict come.
We may be sailing smoothly through life at this point, but one thing is guaranteed difficulties, trials and losses will come. When they come we shouldn’t be surprised, it’s just life. How we navigate through the rough water has a lot to do with how well we come through. A good captain will steer his ship into large waves in such a way that the ship will be able to maintain its course. Choosing the right angle may even keep the ship from capsizing.
Have you been able to stay the course and maintain a positive focus in the midst of your storm or do you feel adrift? One of the keys to staying on course with a positive attitude is to think of all the things that you are grateful for. You might want to write them down on a list. Then begin to express your feelings of gratitude to those around you. You may be amazed at how much good will you will be able to generate. Words of affirmation can be very powerful. Imagine a husband coming home after a hard days work being told by his wife that she is grateful that he is such a good provider for the family. Who knows what kind of positive response this would generate. Finding things to appreciate about the people in your life is a great way to get positive interactions going.
Whatever difficulties you are seeking to navigate through, being able to shift your focus to the positive is essential. We need to train our minds to focus on solutions, not problems. To magnify the problems only makes things worse. The athlete who visualizes succeeding in his event is paving the way for success. If you are trying to overcome a bad habit or an addiction, shifting your focus to something better can be very helpful. As you put your energy and focus in a new direction the thing you were struggling with will become less of an issue. What a concept, replacing a negative with a positive!
In our family my brothers and I have always teased Mom about seeing life through rose colored glasses. It’s remarkable how she is able to sift through all that life brings her way and come up with something positive to say. Somehow she is able to find something wonderful and good to say about every one and every thing. She is eighty-six this year, and she is still looking for something to be grateful for in every circumstance. On first glance you might say that she could be out of touch with reality, but if you step back and look at the big picture, it’s more like she has defined her reality. She is surrounded by people who love being with her, and care deeply for her. For her having a positive attitude is deeply rooted in her faith. What a great way to live.
Return to Resources Page